just a rant

I haven't felt much like writing these days. I don't know why.
I feel like I still have an open wound and I can't seem to find comfort in the things that used to comfort me. Maybe it's because I am close to my family and I know that I will have to leave them again...soon. I still have matters in New Orleans that I have to finalize. I have what's left of a home that I have to finalize.

I wish that I could enjoy my time in Colorado but the fact is....I'm not done in New Orleans.
I look forward to growing old with my wife, children and maybe some grandchildren............
after I'm done in New Orleans.

The problem is.....I will never be done in New Orleans. I will never have a feeling of completion. My family was taken abnormally from our everyday lives and transplanted 1400 miles away.
I love where we landed and the people we've met...but it wasn't done on our terms. I suppose that I'm being obsessive but I know what my friends are doing in New Orleans and what they are going through on a daily basis. Maybe I feel guilty for leaving. I know I did the right thing but it doesn't make it easier to realize that I could be rebuilding the city that I miss.

I am angry......I am sad.....I am scared........I am regretful......I am remorseful........I am hopeful........ I am guilty......... I am all of these things but most of all I am displaced.